Announcing Amazon Undertaking

Announcing Amazon Undertaking:  Plot-free body disposal.
Just slip the body into the prepaid liquid-proof body-gram mailing bag,
seal the E-Z-Peel Liner,
and schedule a convenient pick-up time and location.
Perfect for those untimely deaths.
Forget funeral services and the associated funeral home costs.  Modernize your loved ones final exit experience without wasting away your precious time or money. 

Go Pro Nasal

In an effort to better support users engaged in extreme physical activity, Go Pro announces their new go anywhere camera the Go Pro Nasal.

New Mexican Currency?

They’re planning to merge the European and Mexican Currencies.  They going to be releasing a new 5 dollar bill tentatively called “Cinco DeEuro”

The Untold Threat about Solar Energy – What the Experts haven’t told you!

More and more headlines are touting Solar Energy as the next great source of unlimited and cost-effective energy to help feed our seemingly insatiable national and worldly thirst for more energy.

Although it seems, at fast glance, that Solar Energy is the Holy Grail of cheap, unlimited, and clean alternative energy, the untold truth is much more troubling.

To understand the threat, you must first understand the science behind Solar Energy.  Solar Energy uses the Sun’s energy (the rays of light it emits) as they hit the Earth in a unit of light called Photons.  These Photons are then absorbed by some material that either uses the heat generated by the collision of these photons with the absorbing material, or by chemically converting them into electricity using Photo-Voltaic cells.

Now this may sound simple enough, and we have all seen products that use these technologies in our daily lives, including solar powered calculators, and solar water heaters, but the danger lies just beneath these items.  The trouble with all these technologies is Photon-deprivation.  Learn this term, because this is what will eventually kill us in the future.

Photon-deprivation is the absorption of Photons (or light energy) from the source – i.e. – the sun. Absorbing photons by our newly created energy-hungry solar powered devices means less photons available for the rest of what relies on light to survive, including plants, oceanic plankton, and – in general, life itself.  As we use more and more solar devices, less light will be available for everything else, as well as putting a strain on the Sun’s energy and more quickly causing it to burn out.

Just like plugging in more appliances into the same electrical outlet, we can overload the Sun and deprive living organisms the photonic energy they need.  There is no safety net here, no solar circuit-breaker in case of an overload. Photosynthesis – the process by which plants process light into food, slows down, causing a reduction in farm crop production and yields.  Photosynthesis is also what plankton in our oceans use to grow and make food, which is the basis for all life on this planet.  This reckless use of solar energy basically undermines the entire eco-system of the Earth and Sun, putting life as we know it at risk of total extinction!

Scientists have confirmed these findings time and again, but the big energy lobbyists in Washington, and in other major world political centers have been suppressing this information for years.  They don’t want you to know the true risks of a cheap, clean, and available resource.  You have been led to believe that Big Oil is the bad guy out there in the energy world, but oil spills can be cleaned-up, but we can never replenish the Sun’s energy after we start to deplete it.

Time is running out people!  The clock is ticking, and the time-bomb is the Sun – or the lack of it!  Write your Congressmen,  contact your local papers.  This information must get the public attention before it’s too late.  Solar Energy Kills!!

Support the IFTCO and Save the Children

Your generous donation to the IFTCO (International Fuck Those Children Organization) helps an American Child living in poverty by redirecting funds given to save impoverished children in other countries and giving them, instead, to needy families and children in the United States.

For every dollar you donate, 2 dollars are taken from international aid organizations and are given to US families providing food, shelter, medical care, and supplies to those in need.  Why should we worry about sorry looking children in other countries when we have plenty of sorry looking kids right here at home.

We’re currently sponsoring a contest for our Poster-Child for 2019, with an all expense paid trip for him or her, and their entire family to Las Vegas where they can see, first hand, where American decadence runs amok (and also where many families become needy because Mom & Dad just gambled away the family’s life savings and won’t have enough to eat when they finish their last dinner at the complimentary all-you-can-eat-for-now buffet).

Remember – time is running out for our Poster-Child 2019 contest, so dress your kids in rags, tell them their favorite puppy was just killed, and snap some pathetic looking photos – and you could be a winner!

Über to offer new service

Über’s return to south Florida seems to be profitable enough that they may soon be offering a new service using submarines to shuttle fares under local warterways.  The new service will tentatively be called “Über Ünder”